What to do when you’re feeling alone in running your business

Do you feel alone, stuck, or like you’ve hit a brick wall when running your business?

Have you lost the motivation, clarity and purpose you once had?

If so, know that you’re not crazy. It’s unfortunately quite common for entrepreneurs to feel alone due to the weight of responsibility they carry, and perhaps also because it’s rare for others to understand the weight of it all.

When we’re feeling alone, it can be a good sign that it’s time to rebuild our support network, reassess our values, and take a look at our schedule or workload to see if there are any changes that can be made.

There are many valid, difficult reasons why business owners feel alone in running their organisation — and being aware of how you feel is the first step towards making a difference.

Here are a few things I’ve found incredibly beneficial to feel more supported and less alone as an entrepreneur:

1) find a coach or mentor

If you’re a business owner, it can be common for you to feel alone — even when your business is growing. If your business is growing or stunted — and you aren’t yet equipped with the skills and resources to face the nature of challenges that comes with it, it could be a good time to consider investing in a coach or mentor (or both).

• What is a mentor?

Mentors are people who have “walked the walk”. People who have “been there, done that” and are ahead of us in their experience. Mentors share their knowledge, skills and even their mistakes to help guide us and give us advice.

• What about coaches?
  
  Coaches are different from mentors. They believe that their clients have all the resources already within themselves, and use tools to help us take steps towards our goals and reach our full potential.

Coaches and mentors are can add immense value into our leadership, vision and momentum in different ways. They often don’t have a vested interest, and can offer valuable insights that are objective, practical and grounding.

2) ask for help

In a world that puts independence on a pedestal, it can seem as though asking for help is a sign of weakness. But it’s not. Asking for help requires courage, self-respect, self-awareness, and a desire to grow.

Here are a few different ways you can ask for help to feel supported in running your business:

• Family and friends

Don’t underestimate how beneficial it can be to have a conversation with family and friends. Whether they’re in business or not, receiving the compassion, empathy and words of encouragement from our loved ones can boost our confidence, self-esteem and sense of belonging.

• Online courses and communities

Not everyone has family or friends that are close. And that’s okay. If that’s you, it could be a good idea to find a business community on Facebook or Meetups. There are also courses available for business owners at different stages. It may require you to invest a sum of money to join, but the benefits of the course will most likely outweigh the costs.

With training, guidance, and an online community, you could connect with like-minded business owners at a similar stage of growth to you. Even better if they’re in the same area as you, which means you could go for a walk or grab coffee to talk about the challenges and wins of the day-to-day operations of your businesses.

• Delegate

If there are certain tasks that are becoming overbearing, challenging, or outside of your personal strengths — it could be time to delegate some work. Whether it’s someone you know personally, or a contractor you find on Fiverr, Airtasker or Upwork. There are always different ways you can lighten your workload and feel practically supported by people who are qualified to do the work. Plus, this will free up your time and mental headspace to hopefully be more creative!

It’s ideal that you continue to nourish and invest in a strong support network, especially as a business owner. But sometimes life and work get busy, and it’s understandable if you neglect these relationships as you’re focused on putting out fires at work, or launching that project off the ground. Regardless of where you’re at, it’s never too weak, or too late to ask for help.

3) schedule time to completely switch off & do the things you love

I’m a broken record about this one. Only because I’ve lived a very lopsided life for many years and paid the cost. I tend to tunnel-vision into one aspect of my life (often my business) and neglect every other valuable component (friendships, health, sleep, fun, etc).

What about you? How much time do you dedicate each week to do the things you genuinely enjoy?

When I’ve felt alone in running my business in the past, it was often due to my life revolving around my work and nothing else. I had fizzled my identity as a multifaceted, creative, active, curious human being into a small business owner. Neglected a lot of my hobbies, sleep, rest, boundaries and fell down the messy slope of burnout over a number of years. By prioritising and scheduling in our hobbies every week, it can allow us to remember that we are more than our business’s performance.

• Movement

Moving our bodies is literally magic. Movement is medicine. It doesn’t have to look like a vigorous HIIT class (though high intensity training can be fabulous for stress management). Whether it’s a walk around the block, team sports, pilates or lifting weights — choosing to incorporate movement that we genuinely enjoy can physiologically bring us joy, help us manage the stress of running a business, and allow us to feel more connected.

• Deeper connection

How much human connection do you need to recharge? Even if the nature of your business requires you to be interacting with customers and team members regularly, we all have a different degree to feel connected on a deeper level. Some of us are more introverted than others, so it’s important to gage what energises you. Whether it’s 1 deep conversation, or 3 real connections every week — spending time with our loved ones to just hang out (not making it about business the whole time) can be rejuvenating.

• Laughter

Fun and laughter is one of the most underrated human needs in my opinion. Our need for enjoyment is huge. Sharing banter, light bullying, and a good belly-laugh with the people around us (or even alone whilst watching animal videos) is literally a form of self-care!

These things have helped me, and still help me today to feel more connected. Not only to the people around me, but to myself. As you prioritse the things and people that you love and actually allow yourself to have a good chuckle, I hope that you’ll also feel more connected. I know that this will have a positive effect when it comes to dealing with the reality of running your business and leading your team.

4) reach out & connect with other local business owners

It may seem awkward, but send that email!

Contacting other local business owners to catch up for coffee might be the best decision you’d ever make. Yes, it’s kind of like a cold call. Yes, you may not get a response. But, what if you do get a response?

And what if you guys build an awesome relationship?

When I opened our Music on Purpose shopfront in Maroubra, I emailed a few local businesses who were in a similar industry to ours. Service based education businesses whose target markets were somewhat similar to ours: mums in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney who genuinely care about investing in their children’s development — mentally, socially and emotionally.

I only emailed three businesses, hoping to get in touch directly with the owner. And I got an immensely positive response from all three. After catching up for coffee with each of them, we exchanged flyers, and were able to empathise with each other about the nature of running an educational business pre, during and post-pandemic.

It wasn’t just “networking” (I hate that word). I was able to truly feel seen and understood by other entrepreneurs who were head deep in the ocean. We share similar challenges, similar wins, similar insecurities. And to have a conversation with someone in the same boat can be liberating. It confirms that you’re not alone.

5) remember how far you’ve come

How’s your internal dialogue going?

Sometimes we need encouragement and support from those around us. Other times, we need to draw that very support from ourselves.

Our brain can be funny and wonderful at the same time. (This is beyond an understatement). Our brains are wired to remember negative memories and thoughts as more prominent compared to positive and rewarding experiences. It’s a survival mechanism that’s been wired into us for thousands and thousands of years.

Yes. It’s natural to have your problems, doubts, insecurities and failures at the forefront of your mind. It’s human. That’s why it’s even more important to intentionally reflect on the things you’ve done well. The risks you took. The accomplishments you were able to achieve. The ways that you’ve grown. The goals and plans that you actually took bold action towards.

It’s no small thing to build something from the ground up, so if you’re feeling alone in it — take a moment to celebrate the wins. Every single win. And more importantly, remember who you were before you started and reflect on how much you’ve learnt and grown through the process. I bet that you’ve changed immensely in so many ways.

Feeling alone never feels great. Especially with the responsibility of being an entrepreneur.

I’m a firm believer that our feelings can be indicators. They can be extremely helpful when listened to with curiosity. Even loneliness.

When we feel alone, it might signify that our core needs aren’t being nurtured. That we’re neglecting aspects of our lives and perhaps have our head buried in the sand - tunnel-visioned with our business, unable to see much else.

When become aware of our loneliness, it can be a good thing. It means that we can now take some steps to ensure we feel more connected. Whether it’s through:

• investing in a coach or mentor

• asking out for help

• taking out more time to do the things you love

• connecting with other business owners

• or reflecting on how far you’ve come

I hope that you can make 1 decision every day to feel more supported.

You’re never truly alone. I hope you remember that.

Love, Chloe