Transform Your Relationship with Your Body: Proven Strategies to Develop a Positive and Healthy Body Image
You might be surprised to hear this — but your body image isn’t just about how you look. Your body image encapsulates the way you think, feel, and perceive your own body. This includes your thoughts, beliefs, feelings about your body’s size, weight and shape.
A huge range of factors can influence how you feel about your body. Like cultural norms, social media, influencers who promote certain body and beauty standards, personal experiences and a wide range of beliefs and attitudes we might have been raised to endorse.
Your body image can be positive, negative or somewhere in between. Let’s be real. It’s a little less binary than this — but in a nutshell — if you have positive body image, it means you feel comfortable and confident in your own body. On the other hand, having negative body image means you feel dissatisfied or uncomfortable in your own body. This can lead to a range of problems, including disordered eating, low self-esteem, and depression. Like I mentioned before, a lot of us fall somewhere in between, and that’s because we’re human.
No matter what shape, size or weight — we all have a different relationship with our bodies. You might have some days where you feel positively about your body, and other days, weeks and months that might be more difficult. Wherever you sit on the scale, you are capable of developing a healthier relationship with your body.
I’ve wrestled with my body image for over a decade, and am really grateful to say that I’m much more secure and accepting of my body than ever before. Like anything great in life, developing a healthy body image can be a process that takes time and effort, but it’s something that I believe anyone can grow in.
Here are a few things that I’ve practiced, and am still practicing to this day, to feel secure and confident in my own skin.
1) Appreciate your body for what it can do — don’t just focus on how it looks
With the rise of social media, the normalisation of plastic surgery and apps like Facetune — there’s also been a huge increase in the unrealistic messages and expectations our society places on what “beauty” is. People blame Instagram for triggering anxiety, low-self-esteem and body image issues — but I think the issue is a little more complex than that.
One of my deepest passions is to communicate that physical beauty is only skin deep. Physical attractiveness is only superficial and does not necessarily reflect a person's true character or value.
You are literally so much more than your body. Yes, your body is important. You only have one body. But you also have a mind. You also have a personality. You also have a whole heap of skills and talents that you bring to the table, in your workplaces and relationships.
Instead of focusing on how your body looks, try to appreciate it for what it can do. Your body is capable of amazing things like running, jumping, dancing, and more. As you shift your focus on the things you can do rather than how you look — it can be liberating, grounding and healing too.
2) build the habit of Practicing positive self-talk everyday
Practicing positive self-talk can be a powerful tool in developing a more positive body image. The first step to building the habit of positive self-talk is to pay attention to the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about your body. Are there certain triggers or situations that tend to bring up these negative thoughts?
Once you've identified negative self-talk, it’s important to challenge those thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. It’s important that you’re realistic with your affirmations. E.g. If you’re feeling particularly insecure about your legs and find yourself thinking "I hate my thighs," — it might not be helpful to tell yourself “I love my legs”. Rather, if you focus on what your legs can do for you, and reframe that thought by saying "My thighs are strong and capable of carrying me through the day" and focus on your physical strengths, such as flexibility or endurance, it can create a strong, insightful perspective shift.
Intentionally choosing to express gratitude for your body and all that it allows you to do can also help shift your focus away from negative self-talk and towards appreciation for it’s amazing ability to heal itself and create new life.
If you want to go one step further — it can also be freeing to focus on your strengths that are non-physical, such as your intelligence, humour or kindness. Remember to be patient with yourself through the process. Developing positive self-talk to build a healthier relationship with your body will take time and practice.
By challenging negative thoughts, focusing on strengths, and surrounding yourself with positivity over a long period of time, you can begin to shift your perspective and develop a healthier relationship with your body.
3) Surround yourself with positive influences
Have you heard the saying, “you’re the sum of the 5 closest people to you”? I mean, I probably butchered that well-known quote. But the point of me bringing it up is that it’s important that you are intentional about the people, voices and company you surround yourself with.
In highschool, I was close with one girl who was immensely insecure and extremely restrictive with her eating. I’m not pointing my finger, or blaming her for the development and onset of my eating disorder — but I’d be lying if I said that her eating habits didn’t influence my thinking and relationship with food.
We become like the people we hang out with — and nowadays with Instagram, TikTok and YouTube right at our finger tips, we can be influenced (knowingly and unknowingly) by the people we follow on social media.
It’s important to be aware of the images, lifestyle and messages that people convey through their posts, reels, videos and stories. Take note of when you feel triggered — and know that it’s okay to unfollow, mute, or distance yourself from certain accounts — even if they might not intentionally be having a negative impact on your self-esteem.
You can set boundaries when it comes to choosing who to surround yourself with, whether it's through social media accounts that you follow, or friends and family members you see regularly. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are and not just how you look.
Avoid social media accounts that promote unrealistic body standards and instead follow accounts that promote self-love and body positivity.
Here are a few legends I follow who embody body positivity on Instagram:
@maryscupoftea
@meganroselane
@spensorbarbosa
4) move your body as a form of self-love. exercise for for your health, not just to look a certain way
I used to spend 3 hours at the gym everyday for a period of time. I know it sounds unrealistic, but was in school. With a free 14 day Fitness First Gym Program for teenagers that I qualified for. I exercised for two reasons — firstly because I had nothing better to do, and exercise made me feel better. And secondly because I wanted to lose weight.
After I kept over-exercising and under-eating for a period of time, the feel-good effects of exercise dimmed down quite a lot as I didn’t have much energy to expend. But I kept it up, because I wanted to keep losing weight — out of a fear of gaining weight. Even if I no longer had any fat to lose. (I weighed 40kg at 168cm height at one point).
During my messy years of recovery, I quit going to the gym for a while because it felt toxic. It didn’t feel good. I didn’t have any energy. I always felt guilty for the things I ate, and then I’d also feel guilty for exercising — as my mum discouraged it (in fear that I’d fall even more sick by losing more weight).
Over the years, I had to gain quite a bit of weight in order for my heart to function optimally, and for my metabolism to reset. With my body back at homeostasis — I’ve also managed to develop a more balanced, healthy relationship with exercise. I like to see exercise as “movement”. Moving my body in creative ways to improve my health, mood, and energy levels.
Instead of exercising out of my old fear of gaining weight, or because I feel guilty for eating fried chicken and too much ice-cream, I now exercise to feel good. I now eat to fuel my body so that I can have a productive session at the gym, or run without feeling lethargic. I now move my body to improve my overall health, mood, focus and energy.
Moving your body doesn’t have to look like a 3 hour gym session. There are so many other ways you can move, that make you feel good. Like:
Pole-dancing
Muay-thai
Team sports
Dancing
Etc.
My advice for you is to find ways to move — that make you feel good. The key is to engage regularly in a form of movement that doesn’t feel like work. This is what makes movement and exercise a sustainable part of your everyday life in the long-run. Not just a “fad”-season of intense workouts (like a new-year’s resolution that ends in February).
5) Focus on nourishing your body, not cutting out entire food groups in the fear of gaining weight
Eating a healthy, balanced diet can not only help you feel good both physically and mentally, but can help you build a stronger, more positive relationship with your body.
Focusing on nourishing your body with healthy, nutritious food rather than restricting yourself or trying to achieve a certain body shape or size is the key. A sustainable, nourishing diet is one that is healthy for you, good for your mood and allows you to focus and show up with great energy.
A simple tip is to eat the rainbow. Regularly include a range of fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, seeds and low GI whole grains in your meals. See it as a form of self-love!
These foods provide essential nutrients, fibre, and antioxidants that are important for good health, focus, boosting your mood and give you the energy to focus, and do the things you need to do.
Make sure to include high-quality lean proteins in your meals as they are important sources of essential amino acids. Also, don’t be afraid of fats! Healthy unsaturated fats like those found in olive oil, avocado, and nuts are important for brain health, heart health, and reducing inflammation. Including high quality protein and fat in your diet will keep you fuller for longer and give you great energy to have solid workouts too.
By focusing on wholesome, nutritious, minimally processed foods, and practicing mindful eating, you can develop a healthier relationship with food and a healthier relationship with you body too.
6) Seek professional help if needed
Struggling with body image can be a complex issue that can have a significant impact on your overall well-being and quality of life.
If you are struggling with body image issues, it can be helpful to connect with a therapist or counselor who specialises in body image and self-esteem issues because they can provide you with tools and strategies to improve your body image and overall mental health.
The right psychologist, therapist or counsellor should be able to help identify the root cause of your struggle with your body image, develop an effective, holistic, personalised and tailored treatment plan to address the underlying problem.
They should also be able to provide a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your feelings and experiences without judgment which is particularly important if you feel shame or embarrassment about your wrestle with your body image.
Seeking professional help for body image issues can lead to long-term success in managing body image issues by providing ongoing support and guidance to help you maintain progress and learn to love the skin you’re in. Please note that not all therapists and professionals are the best fit for you. It might take some time to find the right person, but it can be all worth the effort, time and money to do so.
Cultivating a healthy sense of body image doesn’t just end at making healthy choices to eat and exercise. These lifestyle choices are important for our heart, joint and health in general — but it’s important to note that body image goes beyond our physical appearance and habits. When it comes to healing our relationship with our bodies, we need to dig one step deeper to our core-beliefs and values.
Our bodies don’t just serve the purpose of looking “perfect”. Our bodies are literally miracles. Magnificent in so many incredible ways.
Body image is an important aspect of mental and emotional well-being, and can impact a person's overall quality of life. Developing a positive body image can involve a variety of strategies, including practicing self-acceptance, developing a healthy relationship with food and exercise, and seeking professional help if needed.
Anyone can build a healthier relationship with their body image, including you my friend. You are a wonderful human with a clever mind, a great sense of humour and so much more to offer than just fitting society’s unrealistic expectation and mould of perfection. You’re beautiful in your humanness. You are more than your body.
